Through the Founder’s Lens: Where Leadership Actually Begins
Updated: Apr 13
The Moments That Shaped Me
A small notification this week took me back to Year 5.
My Year 5 and 6 teacher had liked one of my posts. Twenty-six years later, and he is still quietly cheering me on.
Immediately, I was 11 again, sitting in his classroom, wrestling with maths and quietly convinced I just wasn’t good at it.
He didn’t make it easy, but he made it possible. He didn’t lower the bar to make me feel better. Instead, he stood beside it and expected me to rise.
At the time, I probably experienced that as strict. Looking back, I see something far more significant.
He saw capability in me that I hadn’t yet learned to recognise in myself, and that stayed with me long after I left that classroom.
A couple of years later, my Year 8 science teacher said something to my mum that has never left me.
“She is kind and treats everyone the same, whether it is a teacher or a student.”
At the time, I dismissed it as nothing more than being normal. But it wasn’t accidental. It was learned, observed, and reinforced through the way he consistently showed up.
Fairness is learned. Respect is modelled. Dignity is demonstrated.
And over time, those behaviours don’t just sit externally, they become part of how you move through the world.
By the time I reached Year 11 and 12, I had a drama teacher who completely shifted how I understood success.
She told us our grades didn’t matter. Not because effort was irrelevant, but because growth, self-expression, and courage mattered more. Showing up, especially when things felt uncomfortable or uncertain, mattered.
She didn’t remove standards. She reframed them.
And when that happens for a young person, the impact goes far beyond performance. It shapes how they see themselves, what they value, and the standards they carry forward.
Looking back now, I can see that these weren’t isolated moments.
There were others over the years. My parents, coaches, early managers, quiet influences who may never have realised the role they were playing.
But what stands out is not just that I remember them. It is that parts of who I am were formed in those interactions.
Not later, once I had qualifications or experience.
Back then. Long before I had language for leadership, I was already experiencing it.
We’re Not Starting From Scratch
And this is the part I don’t think we say clearly enough.
We are not starting fresh when we develop leaders in the workplace and in adults. We are working with what has already been shaped.
The confidence that was built… or chipped away.
The voice that was encouraged… or shut down.
The belief that was strengthened… or questioned.
We are not creating leaders. We are often repairing what leadership did to them earlier.
Watching It Happen in Real Time
And now, I see it again. Not as the one being shaped… but watching it happen in real time.
As a parent.
And it’s not abstract. It’s not theory. It’s happening in front of my very eyes.
With my daughter, I’ve seen what the right leadership can do. A shift in how she approaches maths, not just looking for the right answer, but realising there are multiple ways to solve a problem. As long as she can get there, she explores, she trusts herself. And you can see it, the confidence, the willingness to try, the way she backs herself.
The same in her dance. In 12 months, the right coaches have brought out more in her than the previous seven years combined. Not because she suddenly changed, but because the leadership around her did.
And then I think about my son.
He’s had teachers who saw him early. Who took the time to understand how his mind works and leaned into that, rather than trying to force him into a mould. And you can see what happens when that occurs, engagement, confidence, ownership.
But I’ve also sat in conversations where that same child is described as “lazy” or “struggling”… because he was looking around the room or playing with a pencil.
And I remember challenging that.
Have we stopped to ask why? Have we considered that maybe he’s bored? That maybe he needs to be challenged, not corrected?
And when that shift was made, when he was given the space to step into what he was truly capable of, everything changed.
He re-engaged. He stepped back in.
Nothing about him had changed. Just the leadership around him.
I’ve seen it in his sport too.
Coaches who pull kids apart, who focus on what’s missing, who lead through pressure and criticism, and you can see the impact.
And then others, who keep it simple.
Love the game. Trust the process.
Coaches who see strengths, who build from them, who create belief in oneself first, knowing the rest will follow.
And it does.
Because when someone believes in you, you start to believe in yourself.
This Is Where We Get It Wrong
This is the part that sits with me most.
Because these moments are not small, even though they are often treated that way. They are shaping identity in real time.
They are teaching a young person who they are, what they are capable of, and how the world responds to them.
And those lessons do not stay in childhood. They carry forward, quietly influencing how someone shows up, what they believe about themselves, and what they are willing to step into.
But quite often, we wait.
We wait until they are adults. Until they are in workplaces. Until they are leading teams.
And then we say:
“Be confident.”
“Speak up.”
“Take ownership.”
Without ever acknowledging what was shaped long before they got there.
If we are serious about leadership, we cannot keep starting at the end. We cannot keep expecting outcomes in adulthood that were never developed in the environments that shaped them.
Leadership does not begin when someone is given a title.
It begins much earlier, when someone is still figuring out who they are, and someone in front of them is modelling what leadership looks like in practice.
The leaders who shaped me likely never realised the role they were playing. They were doing their job, showing up in the way they thought was right.
But they were not just teaching content. They were shaping how I saw myself, what I believed I was capable of, and how I chose to show up in the world.
And now, watching it unfold through my own children, I can see just how powerful that influence really is.
The Responsibility We Carry
If we want better leadership in the future, we have to be willing to look earlier.
Not from a place of blame, but from a place of awareness. Because most people are doing the best they can with what they know. Teachers, coaches, parents and leaders show up with good intent.
But intent alone does not shape experience. It is the experience that stays, influencing confidence, identity and how someone shows up over time.
That is where the responsibility sits. Not in being perfect, but in being conscious of the role we are already playing in someone else’s development.
Whether we realise it or not, we are already modelling something. It shows in how we respond, what we reinforce, and what we choose to see or overlook.
And those moments, the ones that feel small or routine, are often the ones that carry the most weight.
If we want stronger leadership in the future, this is where it begins.
Not later, but now.
In the classrooms, the teams, the conversations and the environments where people are still figuring out who they are and what they are capable of.
At Cultiv8 Leadership, this is where our work extends. Not just supporting the leaders of today, but creating the conditions so the next generation steps into who they are earlier, with something solid to stand on.
If this resonates, this is exactly the kind of work I explore in more depth through our Youth & Next-Gen Leadership workshops.
Designed to support leaders, coaches and teachers to better understand how young people experience leadership, and to turn that into practical, everyday approaches that build confidence, engagement and self-belief in the environments they are already in, from day one.
Warmest,
KL
